30 May 2013

Home sweet Home

I don't know why but everytime I go home I'm so excited and after being home for about 1 day I already have enough. Does that happen to you aswell? You get super excited about something and then it just fades as soon as you finally have it? I almost feel bad about it.
This just keeps happening to me whenever I go home. That doesn't mean I don't love seeing my family but I just don't seem to fit in anymore it's weird.
Having one day with them is enough for me to catch up and see them again and after that I just miss my flatmates. The place where I grew up is not home for me anymore. I grew up there and I still enjoy coming back but home is with my friends and my flatmates now. I consider this new town I live in home but this little village still means a lot to me and will most certainly always be a part of me. I mean I grew up here how couldn't it be but I kinda outgrew it.m
Back when I was younger this little village used to be enough for me but now it's just so small at least for me.
Like my sister would come back every other weekend and hang out here but even if I could afford that ( she lives closer to where we grew up then I do) I still don't think I would do it. Okay lets be honest I'm sure I wouldn't do it. I just don't need it that much. I call my mum every now and then and that's fine, that's all we need. And when I'm here we go out for a drink and catch up. We are really close even though we don't see each other all the time. I would even say that I'm this close with my mum because I don't see her that much. Maybe I enjoy the moments we do have together more or maybe it is just the fact that this way she doesn't get enough time to go all crazy on me. And by crazy I mean all that annoying stuff that mums do which I'm pretty sure everyone knows lol. If not can we switch mums?
Just kidding my mum is the best. Growing up she used to let me do all kinds of crazy things and just always said that I had to make my own mistakes and that she couldn't stop me from getting hurt most of the time anyways. She could just warn me about things but whether I did them or not would always be up to me. And if I did get hurt she was there for me and I never once heard my mum say: I told you so. So she was pretty amazing but back then I didn't really know that but know I have really come to appreciate all the things my mum has done for me. For example my mum stop driving me around when I was 12 and told me that all the place I couldn't get to with my two legs, a bus, a train or my bike I didn't have to go to. Obviously at that time I thought she was the crulest mum every but it tought me that I could figure things out myself. That I didn't need my mum to organise everything for me or to drive me around, I learned that I was capable of doing that myself. And all the times where she would still pick me up somewhere meant a lot to me. I figured out that my mum wasn't my taxi and that she had other things to do then driving me and my sister around. One thing that is probably worth mentioning is the fact that I live in a small village and there is a lot of busses and stuff and most of the walking distances aren't to bad either. So I really was fine on my own. And if I wanted to go out at night my dad would come with his bike and pick me up although I'm pretty sure that nothing would have happened if I would have gone home by myself.
My mum always tried to raise us so we would be able to live our own lifes when the time to move out came. And it might sound harsh but my mum told us that if we would go to university we had to move out. She would not let us live with her anymore because she wanted some time without kids even if that meant that she had to pay for our flat and everything else. So that is exactly what we did: move out and she is paying for our rent now. Cause as a student your not really able to pay for everything by yourself. That's just how it is.
My mum has always supported us with our decisions even if they were completely bonkers :D And if that was the case we would just laugh about it afterwards together :)

So I am pretty thankful for everything my mum did and still is doing. She is amazing and I don't think I tell her that often enough.

So everyone go to your mum give her a hug and tell her you love her because she deserves to know that.

x
J.

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