Throwback Thursday - Ex-Boyfriends

Hello you guys :)
The week is almost over and I hope you had a good one!

A couple of days ago a good friend got this idea in my head that I should write about my ex-boyfriends in one of my "Throwback Thursday" entries. So I thought I would do so this week.
I have thought a lot about it this last couple of days and I couldn't see why I shouldn't write about them. There is a couple of things though that will not appear in this entry:
1. Names
2. pictures

I just don't want to invade their privacy although I highly doubt that any of them will ever get to read this.
And it's really sad about the pictures because I have some pretty hilarious ones but again there's a privacy issue for me.
Now as you all know I don't have a problem whatsoever with making me look like a fool on here but I don't know about others so I will leave the pictures buried in the folders from years ago :( lol.

Another thing that I have realised is the fact that I have never actually spend a lot of time thinking about my ex-boyfriends after it was over.
Wow that sounds really coldhearted if I say it like that.
What I meant by it was that I didn't think about them after all the heartbreak was over and they are mostly ex-boyfriends I had when I was 14, 15 and 16 which seems quite far away now.
And I was such a different person back then.

So shall we get started?
First off is obviously my first boyfriend and we will name him Number 1. We were together for like 3 months I think and I don't want to lie here but I think I was 14 when we were together. And turned 15 two months into the relationship.
Isn't it strange that I don't exactly know how old I was?
I remember a lot of other little details and stuff but I'm not sure about my age. In fact I'm not sure about that with most of them :D It's kinda embarrassing I know but that's how it is lol.
It all started off in summer camp and because we just got along pretty well all the others started telling us how cute we would be as a couple. Today you would probably say they started shipping us :D
And till this moment I'm convinced that I only started going out with him because I liked the idea of having a boyfriend. And partly because all these people had said it would be cute.
I might have liked him a lot but realised pretty early on that I didn't actually want to spend that much time with him. And I had no idea what being in a relationship meant so I just went with everything that he suggested.
I think I should mention that he was only a year older then me so he didn't really know what he was doing either which made our first kiss (my first kiss) really gross, at least looking back on it. Back then I had no idea how it should work so I couldn't complain.
Today I know that he was practically eating my face which wasn't that nice....
And oh my god I had no idea how to break up with someone so at one point I just stopped talking to him and I guess he figured out the rest. ugh... I know not nice but I just had no idea how to get rid of him which was what it had come to at the end. I was really annoyed by him and was happy as long as I didn't have to see him. Maybe I had also subconsciously figured out that this kissing thing wasn't something he was good at haha.
So at one point it was over because he had figured out that I just wasn't talking to him anymore. I don't think I actually ever said that we were over... I'm a weirdo that's what I've noticed :D
After it was over we kept running into each other at festivals and stuff because we liked the same kind of music and had a couple of mutual friends.
And whenever he was drunk he used to tell people that we had been together which made the whole situation incredibly odd for me even years later. He even had a chat with another boyfriend of mine, telling him all about how we got together.....
So yes nice one mini me... Well done :D

I have just realised as I'm writing this that it could actually get kinda long. So I might cover 2 of my ex's in this post and 2 next week!

After Number 1 I hit it off with the son of a pastor. I was 15 and he was like 3 months younger than me.
Right from the beginning my friends (which I didn't have very many of at that time) told me that he wasn't right for me.
Not mainly because he was the son of a pastor but because he was very shy and serious about life. I'm a Christian and I believe in god so the being-a-son-of-a-pastor-thing was no reason for this relationship going wrong.
It started of pretty well and I think I might have actually had a crush on him. I liked the way he treated me and how he always wanted to know what I thought about things. I felt involved and that was nothing I was used to.
Regardless of that he was a very nice person and interested in a lot of things I did. Looking back he probably only took an interest because I did.
Which is one of the things that made it harder and harder for me to spend time with him. Because all we really did was something that I had to choose. I mean don't get me wrong it was great but it got to a point where it felt like he was only doing things because I wanted to.
Another thing was the fact that he got really clingy and wanted to spend more and more time with me, leaving me with close to no time for myself or other friends. And that up till now is something I'm not able to handle.
I need my own space and I need to still be an independent person when in a relationship.
I need room to breathe or I'll run.
And the last thing is the fact that even though we were together for 6 months we kissed once. He had very strict perceptions when it came to relationships and although I'm also Christian I didn't agree with them all that much.
So yes we broke up but again I did not handle it very well. I was so afraid of what he would do if I broke up with him that I actually made my friend tell him...At least that is what I think I did...

Oh wow! I'm such a bad person, those poor guys.
I'm very glad that I have learned how to break up with someone by now. Although I still believe that there is no right way to do so I at least am able to do it in person now.


I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did let me know so I can do another one next week with another 2 ex boyfriends.
Or write about something more interesting if you didn't like it :D

x
J.