I have always know that if I start something I want to finish it to the best of my ability. I always want the things I create to be perfect, that being a drawing a text I wrote or a photo I have taken. Or even the more simple things like decorating a cake painting a room.
And sometimes that can get a little frustrating because most of the time you just wont be able to do something exactly the way you imagined it.
It's human but I tend to get really upset with myself.
And as a result I just stop doing it all together. Which then leads to me being more frustrated because I gave up on it to soon.
It turns into a cycle that I can't break and no matter what way I look at it, always ends up with me being angry with myself.
I have a drawing that has been sitting on my desk for almost half a year now because it hasn't turned out exactly how I wanted it to. And it isn't even done yet.
I am extremely strict with myself but I have come to realize that it isn't getting me anywhere. Because at the end of the day I am only putting myself down. I don't even give myself the option of finishing something, showing it to somebody else and getting their opinion on it.
I mean lets be honest the artist is most of the time to close to his art to actually tell if it is good or not. Deep down we are all perfectionists and can never quite believe that what we created is good enough.
I don't know how to overcome this urge to only create perfection yet but I am working on that.
Continuing that drawing is the first step for me. And finishing it is the goal without thinking about how it looks. Just getting it done, so I can look at the finished thing and decide if I really don't like it.
Giving up half way through just because I feel like it won't turn out exactly the way I want it is not an option anymore.
I really want to stop being a quitter since that is what it feels like right now.
I think that not finishing something out of fear is cowardly. How can I be afraid of it not being perfect if I don't even finish it.
So as of now I will finish my work before I give up.
My perfectionism is also the reason why I am still working on my pictures that I took on my little weekend holiday in Lübeck. I don't want to overdo them as I am quite proud of them but I feel like some of them might need some work.
I hope you can wait on them a little longer and u until then, why don't you try to finish something you might have given up on already.
I just got done with a painting I had put away for reasons listed above and actually finishing it felt really good. I am not one hundred percent happy with it but I am starting to accept that perfection is overrated!
x
J.