What even is perfect?

Hi everyone :)

I think we all know the feeling of getting up in the morning, looking in the mirror and thinking: Omg do I look horrible today. And then trying to literally do everything to save our face and maybe even our outfit if we feel gross in what we have picked because it just is one of those days.

But who even says that we are not perfect enough? Why do we look in the mirror and suddenly decide we are not good enough?

For who, should be the question. Who has put this stupid image in our head that we have to look flawless all the time.

It is such a stupid thought if you dwell on it. We just sell ourselves short if we do it.

And why is being skinny and looking like a freakin' model considered perfect and ever other figure is not thin enough. Why? Everybody is perfect just the way they are, at least that is what I believe. We shouldn't go round  changing that and we especially shouldn't tell people they aren't perfect the way they are. Who gave society the right to do so? To be so judgmental when it comes to our looks? It's a nasty habit that we should get rid of really fast.

I hate people who pick their friends based on looks. Just because someone looks appealing to you doesn't mean their character is as well. I find that I don't get along with people who are stunningly beautiful and know it. I think it is not a nice attitude to be so focused on looks, I would much rather pick people because of their beautiful character instead or their beautiful face.

And I am sure I am not the only one who says that people get more attractive the better you like their personality. I do actually mean that yes!

To get to the point: I don't think a person is less beautiful or perfect just because they weigh a bit more then others, have a crooked nose or are missing a leg. Albeit our ideal of beauty might tell us otherwise.

So if you are like me and gain three pound if you just look at chocolate you should just not give a rat's ass what others think about it the next day. If that chocolate makes you happy: Have it! I have tell myself everyday: As long as I am happy with myself all the critics can kindly fuck off because at the end of the day only my happiness matters.

That obviously doesn't meant that you can just go around being selfish but when it comes to what you look like and what you feel comfortable with I say fuck everybody else.

Or as Tyler Oakley would say: You do you and let me do me!

And it just so happens that I have found the perfect video to emphasize my point! I highly recommend you take the time and watch it because it is what inspired me to do this post.

So next time you look in the mirror just be happy with the person that looks back at you because that person is perfect the way they are!

x

J.

Back to boys

I don't know who asked me that lately but someone wanted to know how hooking up with your best friend turns out. I gotta say I have hooked up with a couple of men but my best friend was not one of them. At least not in a way that counts. So I don't really know what happens when you do. But I guess hooking up with a good friend is close enough and I have done that. More than once to be fair :D And I have to say for me it has worked quite well so far. 
But I totally see how it can get complicated. I don't know if it's just my friends that are so open about this or what it is but it has worked so far. 

So basically with my friends it has just happened at one point. And I am not at all saying it has happend with all of my male friends, that would be so weird. But it has happened with more than one and I'm still friends with all of them. 
And especially with one of them our relationship has come out of it stronger than before. We trust each other on a hole different level. And I know that he would never judge me for the things I do and that goes both ways. It's just that now that we have that whole "being naked" part behind us it can't get any more intimate. And I'm nowhere near to saying that this is how it always is cause it's not. 

It went pretty wrong with one of my friends we don't even talk anymore. After it had happened we kinda never spoke again till today I have no idea what happened we just never talked again. I lost a really good friend that day and looking back I have to say I would rather have kept the friend than have 1 hour of great sex. Cause I mean the sex ends but the friendship would have gone on and we really got each other. So he is a friend I lost because we slept together but he pretty much is the only one. 
And he wasn't my best friend not even close to that cause if he were I wouldn't have done it.  I wouldn't trade my best friend for anything. He is a really important person to me and even if we don't see each other that often I know that I can always rely on him. When I went to New Zealand we were apart for one year and still after I got home it was like I had never left. We will always have this connection and I don't know if sleeping with him would ruin that or not. But I'm not really willing to find out :)
So I couldn't tell this friend how it turned out but I can tell everyone that I would really think about it before I do it because if you end up loosing this really good friend you will regret it. And there is no way of coming back from crossing the line of friendship and sleeping together that will always be there. 

So I don't know how it is to get in bed with you best friend and what happens after that but I can tell you one thing: Sleeping with your best friends brother is not a good idea lol

But everyone has to make their own mistakes and who knows it might be worth trying and you end up married to your fromer best friend ;)

x
J.

Life

So for today there is just a real short post since everything has been a lil weird today :)
Especially when you get up at 6.30 am to go to university and the last minute before you go out decide to check your mails and luckily I did cause both my Professors for the day were sick so no uni for me and I got up for nothing :)
And things like that just kept coming my way today haha

Got this from Holstee

 I can only speak for myself but I know for a fact that I should live like that more often....

So grab life by it's roots and live it to the fullest.

x
J.

Real Beauty

Today it's all about beauty :) And first of all: I don't think that this is just a problem women have I think everybody knows the feeling of not being happy with the way they look. It's only human but I guess there has to be a line we shouldn't cross as to how unattractive we think we look. Because at some point it gets unhealthy and than we start loosing control and most of all self-confidence. And self-confidence is something that is so important. 
In my opinion if you don't have any self-awareness that is exactly would you emanate. And even if you are really pretty but think of yourself as someone who is ugly people will precieve your beauty a lot less.
It's a video I saw online that got me thinking about this. I know some might think now: she only ever blogs about videos on youtube, but I don't. At least I don't just post them to entertain you but because I actualy think that we can somehow learn something from them. Or that at least I did and that I wanted to share the thoughts I had with you, so maybe you guys might get something out of watching and reading this, too. 
So here it goes :

 I mean of course  I knew women are self-critical honestly who doesn't ? lol
What I didn't expect was for it to be that bad. Do we really think we look thaaat bad? I mean common none of these women really looked as unattractive as they made themselves look like. It was quite interesting to see how different the two sketches were. Not even the ones where the women got descirbed by strangers where acurate, but at least they got fairly close. 
So what this video proved to me is that we should not be that self-critical with ourselves or we don't even have to be, if you wanna go that far. We should enjoy what we have because others don't look at us through our eyes. They don't know that our mother told us we have the family nose (which might be a snub nose) and they don't care if we think that we have to many wrinkles around our mouth when we laugh. They don't see all the mistakes that we apparently have (according to ourselves).Every new person that we meet has her own way of seing us. 
So to all the women out there:
 Cheer up ladies we really do look pretty even when we can't see it for ourselves. So if someone tells you you are beautiful don't think about all the thinks that you don't like about yourself just thank them.
We should enjoy ourselves only than can we be truly beautiful. 


I mean I can only speek for myself now but I'm not always happy with the way I look. I have days on which I find myself staring at the mirror thinking: todays one of those days where you just shouldn't leave the house :) It happens. I don't like everything about myself, but since I can't change it why complain about it non stop and make myself feel miserable?


x
J.

This Song

While I was working today they were playing this song on the radio and I just thought: I know that feeling. I felt that exact same way not long ago. But then listening closely to it I heard it was about a man and a women who are each others mirrors:


Aren't you somethin' to admire, cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always parallell on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original, cause it doesn't seem merely assembled
And I can't help but stare cause I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you, you reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

Baby you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are you are the love of my life
Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

But I would like to write about how I understood that song at first. In a way everyone has his own way of listening to a song and making it his own.  That's what I'm trying to do with this blog: showing you how i see things, hear things and feel things.
So this is the way I conveyed it to my life.

It's that feeling when you look at yourself and think wow that’s me and at the same time it isn’t. I lived in New Zealand for one year. I took a year off from my normal life to try finding myself. So I could look in the mirror and say that’s me, but I didn't know that back then.

Before I left I always tried to be how everyone wanted me to be. I tried to please everybody and completely forgot about myself. I hadn’t learned to stand up for myself or to take care of myself. At times I was pretty miserable but didn’t even know it cause I had no idea how being happy really felt. I didn’t know what it meant to truly be yourself. So I had a lot to learn without even being aware of it.

After I got to New Zealand I realized that no one had any expectations on me. I was a complete stranger to all the people I met which made it kinda refreshing but also gave me a chance to try new things. I had found a place where I could be whoever I wanted to be and no one would know it wasn’t the real me, but it also gave me the opportunity to be the real me. Something I had never quite been before. So that side of me, that side that really showed who I am, was something I had never experienced before. I basically had no idea what ‘me’ meant.

So I tried a couple of things and soon figured out that being me isn’t something that always is the same. Being who you are is something that changes throughout the situations you get yourself into. I learned that it was okay to freak out from time to time, that I could be as crazy as I wanted to be and people still accepted me. Because you have to be reckless now and then to be self-balanced. And as the year was going by I learned to stand up for myself. To defend the space that I needed to fully expand myself. Not everybody had to like me so I was happy and the people who really care about you like you no matter how you behave. Another thing that I learned is that I was lovable the way I am, probably the most important thing I figured out there.

Which brings me back to the song cause I felt exactly like it is said in that song : Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through you just gotta be strong.  There was this other side of me that I couldn’t get to. I had to be strong so it could get through to the surface.Which wasn't always easy but every minute of it was worth it cause seing the person that came out of it makes me happy. The person that came out of it is someone I can be proud of.

That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me

I took those two parts of me that I had no idea even existed and transformed them into the person I am today. I can now look in the mirror and say: Yes that is a 100% me and no one else.

Because how can other people love you if you don’t even love yourself?

So to everybody out there who reads this: I know it's hard and there will be people who can't accept the way you are, but only if you are true to yourself can you be truly happy. And you will emanate balance which I think makes people really sexy. It kinda gives them some sort of glow that makes them really beautiful.

So be yourself and be enchanting :)


x
J.