A Chat with Me

Hi everyone :)

For quite a while now I have been wondering what it would be like to meet my 17 year old self. What would I say to younger me what kind of questions would younger me maybe have?

I have called younger me Yesterday and present day me Tomorrow so you can tell which is which.

Here goes nothing:

Yesterday is sitting in her favourite spot, it is quite there, almost like you could here the leaves fall from the trees. A stream is slowly murmuring it's way through the forest and a peaceful silence lies over it all. 

Yesterday came here alone, to get her head clear and try to sort somethings out, but now someone is taking a seat right next to her, on the small space that is left on the stub. 

This person is just a s quiet as she is, they aren't saying anything just sitting there and looking out over the clearing in front of them. 

Yesterday doesn't feel disturbed, if anything sitting here has just become more liberating then it was before. 

But who is this person that just came here and decided to take part in her well deserved loneliness.

Yesterday looks up and right and gets even more confused, because this is her. It is her sitting next to her and at the same time it is not. Just as she is about to say something this other her turns their head and looks down at her with the same brown green eyes that she finds so uninterestingly dull.

T: I am Tomorow. Nice to meet you.

Y: You are me.

T: Not correct, I used to be you.

Yesterday doesn't know what to say, she doesn't think she likes this Tomorrow person. So instead of saying anything else, she looks down at her feet.

T: Don't you think that this might not be the right time to stare at your feet?

Y: What do you want with me? 

T: I just want to talk. Maybe help you out? 

Y: I don't need your help.

Tomorrow laughs, it is decided Yesterday definitely doesn't like this person. This person that seems so sure about themself, this person that just pops up out of nowhere and isn't anything like Yesterday expects herself to be in 10 years. Or how old is Tomorrow anyway?

Y: How old are you?

T: Not important!

Y: But...

T: You can ask me whatever you want and the first thing you come up with is: How old are you?

Yesterday looks down at her feet again and starts playing with the hem of her T-shirt, she doesn't know what else to do. She doesn't know this person, although she claims to have once been just like Yesterday. It isn't easy to talk to strangers, Yesterday has never been good at it, she doesn't feel comfortable enough. She doesn't know what they expect from her, it is just hard to do!

T: Okay this is going nowhere. I had actually forgotten that it was this hard at 17, so I will start, that okay?

Yesterday just nods.

T: So: Hi I am Tomorrow. You will be me in a couple of years and I am here to offer some advice if you want it and to tell you that no matter how bad things might look right now, or how out of place you feel, you will get there.

Y: You sound like you have it all figured out!

Yesterday doesn't look up but at least she stops to nervously fiddle with her clothes.

T: Oh I am far from that, love. I might just be a lot happier than you are right now.

Y: So what advice could you give me than? If I still don't know what I want to do with myself in 10 years what's the point of it all?

T: I am offended. You really think I am 27? 

Tomorrow raises her eyebrows at the younger girl and looks disturbed but in a teasing way. Yesterday doesn't know how to do that. She knows that emotion on the older's face she just doesn't feel confident enough to use it. It's one of her stage faces, one of those that Yesterday only gets to use when she is trying to be someone else. 

So she looks at this older version of herself closely for the first time.

She is beautiful that's what she notices first. Her hair doesn't have this boring grayish colour anymore but is a full chocolate brown that reflects the sunlight. And she dresses a lot differently, although Yesterday thinks, it probably isn't that different, it just is how she would dress, if she actually were brave enough. 

T: You are awfully quiet. Is there really nothing you would want to say?

Y: I don't know. You seem so.... you look like you are okay. You look like I am going to be okay.

T: Yeah, I guess I am, aren't I? There are things in your life at the moment that seem like a lot to take on but believe me when I say you will come out stronger.

Y: That sounds really cheesy.

T: Yeah, right? See we aren't that distinct. 

Y: Oh but we are, I am nowhere near you on a scale from one to 10.

She laughs again, and even her laugh is different. It is the kind of laugh that makes you want to join because it sounds so carefree, so liberating.

T: That has always been our problem though, you have to stop comparing yourself to others.

Y: I am not.

T: You have just told me that I am better than you sweetheart, you seem to be forgetting that I am you. 

Y: I just don't know. I came here to figure out what to do about all the crazy that is going on.

T: Oh I know exactly why you came here. 

Y: Yeah been there done that, I get it. You are still not helping me.

Yesterday looks up to Tomorrow for the first time since they started this weird chat and is met with a caring expression on the others face. 

Tomorrow reaches her hand out and tucks an escaped strand of hair back behind Yesterdays ear.

T: Listen, I am not here to lecture you, but did you really think sleeping with the brother of the guy you are in love with was a great idea?

Y: Probably not?

Tomorrow just shakes her head and pulls Yesterday in for a sideways hug. It is comforting, and finally someone has said what Yesterday has been asking herself this whole time.

Y: I don't even know why I did it. 

T: I am quite a bit older than you and I can tell you I don't either. But, I can tell you waiting would have been absolutely worth it. 

Y: What do you mean? Are you trying to tell me that had I waited I would have had my first time with the guy I have been in love with for 2 years now?

T: Not what I was saying! I just told you waiting would have been worth it.

Y: Will I ever be with M.?

T: I am not sure if I should tell you that.

Y: That is not a no!

Yesterday was getting excited, what if this older version of herself was with M. right now? What if there really was a happy ending to this story? She freed herself from the hug she was still in and looked at Tomorrow expectedly.

T: It wasn't a no Yesterday, but it wasn't a yes either. 

Y: Oh common, don't be so mysterious. 

T: (sighs) I am not with him where I am from, but he is still you best friend, if that helps.

Y: Will I still love him?

T: I think we always will love. Even if we never get to be with him.

Y: That sounds very depressing.

She looks down at her feet again, while Tomorrow lets her eyes roam over the forest.

T: I promise you, even though you might not believe it know, you will love other people. Great people. People who are kind to you and treat you like the center of their universe. There is an amazing guy waiting for you out there.

Y: Mhm....

T: (smiling) Oh please don't be like that. If it makes you feel any better he will admit that he loves you as well.

Y: That didn't help at all.

But at least Yesterday laughs at that.

Y: Will I make friends in school next year?

T: You already have friends there, just not the ones that you think you need. 

Y: And what about the whole... you know!

T: That will make you who I am now. And you don't need these people, trust me!

There is silence again, but it's not heavy or uncomfortable, it's just there to process everything. 

Y: What if I want to be friends with these people. What do I have to do.

T: Nothing!

Y: But they don't like me, so what do I do?

T: See that is what you don't get: If someone doesn't like you than they don't, there is nothing you can do to change that. And you don't have to either.

Y: And if I...

Tomorrow turns very abruptly towards Yesterday.

T: NO! Listen love, if someone doesn't like you for who you are then don't bother with them. You are a great person if you let yourself be who you are.

Y: You say that like it is that easy!

T: (grabbing Yesterday's shoulders) Oh but it is love! You are so wonderful and beautiful and creative, you just have to start seeing that.

Y: I am nothing if boring. 

Tomorrow hugs her tight at that and Yesterday might cry a little, because no one has ever said something like that to her.

T: Mum might criticize you a lot love but she only does it to help you. Nan only wants what's best for you as well and the only thing that is really holding you back is that stupid voice in your head that keeps telling you to put others first. 

The younger one is full out sobbing now.

T: You are important as well. It is okay to do things just for selfish reasons once in a while. That doesn't make you a bad person.

Y: I just want them to like me.

T: I know love. We are to sensitive for fights.

Y: You aren't!

Tomorrow kisses the top of Yesterdays head and holds her at an arms length so she can look her in the eyes.

T: Some things might change but that never does. I am just better at hiding it.

There is a small smile playing on Yesterday's lips now.

Y: So you are saying I don't have to change that?

T: No, the only thing you will learn is to deal with it better. Believe me you will get really good at telling when someones anger is directed at you and when they are just angry about life and use you as an outlet.

Y: Both of those don't sound nice to me.

Yesterday rubs her face with her hands to clean away the tears and smiles shyly at her older self.

T: You see, my life is far from perfect, and I still don't know what I want to do with it in the long run but I know this: If you are happy, you will be a lot better at making others happy. 

Y: That actually makes sense. So what do I do now?

T: Make loads more mistakes because that is the only way you can learn and don't be afraid to make them.

They both fall into silence again after that and when Yesterday looks to the right again to thank her companion, she is gone. 

x

J.

Bullying

Hi everyone :)

As it is Thursday and I try to have some stories from when I was younger on here I thought why not try it with something that is also quite serious.

As the title of this post already says: Today's post is going to be about bullying.

I feel like it happens to a lot of people for various reason, most of them as small as not wearing the most fashionable clothes or not having the newest phone. 

The reason for me getting bullied was a little worse as it actually had something to do with my personality. 

I am in no way saying that people who get bullied for not having a lot of money have it better as any form of bullying is bad but I feel like kids who get bullied for who they are take a lot longer to recover. 

Because someone saying mean things to you because of your old cell phone actually doesn't have anything to do with you in the greater sense. It is about material stuff than about your personality and it is a lot easier to distance yourself from being criticized for money than it is from being criticized for your personality. Although both things are equally as horrible from the people who do it and absolutely unnecessary. 

I have experienced both as I used to wear hand-me-downs from cousins and family friends when I was a kid. I didn't really care but one girl in my grade did. That was in primary school and I didn't really get it back then as I had enough friends who were the same and so we just weren't friends with her. It didn't affect me as much I don't think. I still wore hand-me-downs when I went to grammar school and never really thought about it twice as the people who I was friends with didn't seem to mind, and there were people with a lot more worn out clothes than me.

But starting 10th grade things started getting a little rough for me. I don't remember it all to clearly, that whole year is sort of a blur for me as I am quite good with blocking bad memories out. I guess it was sort of a defense mechanism. I do remember how I felt about it very clearly though and I never want to feel that small again.

Basically what happened is that we had one girl in my class that everyone liked simply because if you didn't you were f*****. She talked about her friends behind their back and generally wasn't a very nice person. I used to be quite good friends with her but than I had a boyfriend and after we broke up he told her about all the things we had and hadn't done (sex wise). It felt like the biggest violation of my privacy when everyone started asking me about these things and I knew she had told them. All of them were making fun of me for not sleeping with him, I was 15 and not ready but none seemed to care. I was embarrassed and felt cheated on in the most terrible way and I made that known. I told her that I wasn't okay with her telling everyone about my private things which only made it worse, as she soon started to make all the things I had told her in confidence known as well. 

I didn't have a very strong personality back than and was very insecure about the way I looked. 

In addition to that I also wasn't a very sociable person and only kept a view close friends, because I always liked having a view good ones than a dozen that didn't really care about me.

But soon even those view didn't talk to me anymore in fear of getting bullied by her as well. I could absolutely understand it but it hurt even more to endure her mean comments alone. For about half the school year I sat alone, ate alone during the smaller breaks and walked to classes alone. I only really had friend left in the grade above mine but they couldn't really help. All that was left fro them was trying to make the bigger breaks as fun as possible so I could forget about all the other stuff for at least 20 minutes.

I felt like I total outsider and alone. Going to school soon became a nightmare as I had to endure her snarky comments even during class. I had been pretty good in everything regarding literature and poems but whenever I answered one of the teachers questions right I would get a mean comment, whispered but made sure I would hear it. 

She was very adamant in her quest of making me feel miserable about myself. She was a right brat, but without anyone that could help me stand up to her, all that was left for me to do was just make myself small and hope she would leave me alone.

10th grade ended eventually and I spent a summer break away from all this mess at school. I didn't recover however and I didn't really enjoy the break either as I knew there was another year of school that I would have to go through alone most likely. 1 more year of being her punching bag until I would most likely not share a class with her anymore as my subject interests for my A levels were much different from hers. 

Against everything I believe however, she seemed to have forgotten about me over the break. 11th grade started and I was invisible. I still had no friends or close to none but I was left alone. 

What she had ruined for me though was a lot more then being left alone could fix. For the rest of my time in school I questioned if people who I was friends with actually liked me or if they were just pretending to do so. I began wanting to please people and forgot to take care of my own happiness, just because I wanted to keep the view friend I had made so badly, that I would do everything for them. They didn't know that that's what I was doing they thought that's just who I am but if I am being honest I wasn't myself till I got out of school. Hell I am pretty convinced I still wouldn't be myself had I not gotten away from it all and gone to New Zealand.

New Zealand was the place that healed me. I started coming out of my shell and for the first time had people who liked me for me. 

I didn't have to pretend to be someone I am not as those people I met there didn't know who I was. They had no expectations towards me and I was finally able to be free.

Being away from it all for one year taught me that me being happy is most essential to making other people happy. That me being myself and standing up for myself doesn't mean that people will like me any less. I have made so many more honest friends down there in a year then I have made in my whole life. I am friends with 2 people I went to school with and that is literally it. 2 people out of over 100 people that were in my grade. 

Being who I am and getting shown that I could be loved and liked for who I am was the most important lesson I learned in my life so far. And I had to wait till I was almost 20 to experience it.

I don't think anyone should have to wait that long to figure out that being who you are is essentially all you need to make yourself happy, it all starts there. Loving yourself and being confident enough to stand up for yourself is so so so important and yet 1000 of kids get bullied into believing they are not okay the way they are.

Who gave you bullies the right to downgrade people like that?

So if you see someone getting bullied you doN#t even have to necessarily step in and say stop if you don't think you are brave enough for that. I can tell you from experience that being a friend for someone who goes through bullying might even be more important. 

It would have made my life so much easier if one person had stood up for me. One person is really all it takes. And it is a hell of lot easier to brush nasty comments off if you have someone who is standing behind you and who supports you. 

I felt like I was falling and falling and falling and there was no one there to help. One person to catch you is all you need really.

And if you, who is reading this, are getting bullied all I can tell you is : It will get better. It will end and you will get out of there. Surround yourself with people who pick you up and sustain you. It will not be over and you won't be fine straight away but you will have someone to fall back on. 

Never try to make it on your own!

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Christmas Tree

Hi everyone :)

How has your week been? Cold? Yeah same :)

But I actually do love it. Christmas when it is warm outside just isn't the same!

And what would Christmas be without a Christmas tree? 

Did you have a decorating tradition when you were younger or anything of that sort?

Well in my family we kind of did and we always had real Christmas trees as well. My mum and dad would usually struggle with putting the tree up to an extend where they would nearly give up and have us celebrate without a tree. I don't know what it was about our Christmas trees but they never seemed to go up without a fight :D We had them falling over or being so wonky we had to start all over again.

When the tree fight was finally over my mum, my sister and I would usually get on with decorating it. That was until on year my dad decided that he wanted to have tinsel on the tree, because it reminded him of his childhood. My mum was absolutely against it because she hates that stuff but as per usual my dad got his way in the end.

That's kind of our tradition, the little bicker about how to mount the tree and how to decorate it. In the end it didn't really matter because it was Christmas and you don't fight on Christmas eve but it still seemed to happen every year.

It was rather fun to be quite honest, because by the time the tree was up and decorated everybody loved it :)

Last year me and my dad put the tree up and decorated it as well. And lets just say that we might not have had to argue much but boy was that tree wonky :D

I think we redid it for about 5 times and by the time we got to decorating and were starting to hang the candles it just fell over and we had to start over :D

It was brilliant really and sooooo much fun :) Although we did have to cut of the top of the tree because it was to big for our living room :D And we couldn't fit the start that usually goes on the top on it without cutting it down a bit....

Well we all survived and the end result looked like this:

You can clearly see how wonky it is. That is before it fell over by the way :D

It's at least upright now. We added a lot more tinsel just so you know :)

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Cousins

Hello everyone :)

How are we? Are we good? No colds yet? I sure hope we all stay healthy a bit longer, no need for getting sick right now.

Growing up my grandma made sure that me and my cousins saw each other often. She was and still is the one that keeps the family together always asking when we are gonna see each other next. This has lead to us being really close and sharing a lot with each other. I would even go as far and say that my cousin L., who is no stranger to this blog, is my best friend.

This basically means that we have grown up together and there have been a lot of pictures taken of us  until we were old enough to take them ourselves.  

me, my sister JS. and my cousin L.

Yeah I am a bit embarrassed to be sharing this one but hey.... :D It is like my sister said we need the old ones as well so everyone can see how much we have changed, for the better I might add :) At least I like to think so. 

Growing up with a younger sister and L. being my age and our older cousin S. was great. We shared our stories about boys and how weird we thought our family was at times. And we had a lot of slightly strange photo shoots as we liked to call them :)

L., me and my sister JS.

I love all of them a lot, maybe not as much when the get really annoying, but that isn't happening as much since we have all started our own lives, in new cities with new friends. 

We still try and see each other as often as we can. Me an L. obviously see each other a lot more then we see S. and JS. because we live closer to each other but we try.

In January we had a whole weekend together where they all came to stay with me here in Augsburg and it was so much fun. Although we did end up taking about 4 hours to pack all their stuff together because there were clothes everywhere and it took quite some time to figure out what belonged to whom. Up till now I am missing a top that has disappeared after that weekend :D

JS. and S. and L.

This was taken on our last weekend together before this year which we spend at S.'s in Würzburg. We did have fun as you can see. What they were actually trying to achieve was looking like Audrey Hepburn in the poster on the wall. Yeah we can all see how well that turned out :P

JS. and S. and L.

That looks more like it :)

This one is just on here to proof that I am not the only one that is a bit crazy in this family :D They are wearing legwarmers on their head just in case you didn't notice!

I am a really big family person and I guess so are all of my lovely ladies because we do really love one another. No you might think that everyone loves their family but let me just say that we have other cousins that we don't get along with that well or just don't spend as much time with. 

We 4 kind of belong together and really are a force to be reckoned with :) Just ask my flat mates they needed a view days off after my cousins and my sister had spend the weekend.

That is probably how my flat mates felt came Sunday morning :D

Family has to stick together and with these 3 idiots that isn't hard to do at all :)

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Birthdays

Hi everyone :)

It is my birthday in 2 days and I am really excited. Quite a view people that mean a lot to me are coming to Augsburg and I am just really really looking forward to that. 

Even though I won't be seeing my family. But they will call I am sure of it. I actually can't wait to see how many people forget my birthday again. Last year only 2 of my friends called and the rest just forgot. Well apart from my flatmates that baked me a cake that then burned in the oven so they had to redo it :D 

Birthdays have always been special when I was little because my mum would usually make kind off a big deal of it. On our birthday, after we got up we would have breakfast together and obviously cake and our whole kitchen would be decorated with garlands, balloons and confetti. And of course lots of candles. 

Until I was about 10 we had our candles on a birthday tree. I know that probably none of you have any idea what that is so  here you go:

That is the 'tree' and the birthday cake my mum made every year. It tasted of sweet woodruff and we loved that cake. I think I asked for it every year until I moved out and she couldn't make me a cake anymore :)

And we always had dinner with my aunts, uncles, grandma and cousins on our birthdays. My mum cooked the craziest things :D She always used those dinners to try new recipes, which wasn't a bad thing, don't get me wrong my mum is a great cook but it got a bit freaky from time to time :)

Did you have birthday traditions when you were younger?

I would love to know :)

x

J.

Throwback Thursday

Hi everyone :)

Sorry it got so late. I was talking to my mum for quite a while today after I got home from uni. 

It's really weird, I always talk to her the longest right before I see her again. 

Tomorrow I'll be going home for the weekend and to a concert with my mum on Saturday as an early birthday gift.

We still talked tonight though, so it got a little late:)

I actually forgot about time. It gets dark so early that I always think it's not that late yet because time can't have passed that quickly since it was 5 pm and got dark. But now it is 11pm and I should really upload this post :)

We talked about me as a baby and how I was growing up. And I got a couple of funny/ endearing stories to share.

Lets start with the first picture ever taken of me, at least if you don't count the baby bump ones.

This was taken in hospital after they made this footprint.

That guy with the amazing old school glasses is my dad
by the way :)

And yes I do only have 4 toes :D I don't really though. I have 5 toes on every foot and 10 in total but somehow on this footprint my second toe on my right foot decided it didn't want to be in the picture :D Yeah my toes have their own minds apparently.

I am not that much older in this picture but the reason I like it so much is, because I can't believe how small I was. I know we are all born fairly small but I mean my head is smaller then my dads hand, that just seems tiny. 

I now understand why I don't feel too comfortable with pretty young babies, they just look like they would be so easy to break. Like no matter what you do you can only hurt them. I remember the day my cousin gave me her daughter for the first time, I was terrified of doing something wrong. 

I have this picture framed in my room and I would love to be able to remember that moment. I can't imagine how safe you must feel being held like that. Just for someone to be able to wrap you in their hand and shield you from the world must be the best feeling in the world. 

On a bad day I just want to curl into myself and never leave my bed how amazing would it be to be held like that when you feel really down? 

I would give a lot for that experience. Wouldn't you?

'Oi what do you want?' :D

This one is just for looking at and admiring the endearing look on my face :D I think it looks hilariously cute if that is even possible :D

I have tried really hard to recreate this picture and post it up here but I have miserably failed. I am sorry!

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Fashion Fails Part II

Hi everyone :)

I went back home the other weekend and I spend quite some time going through old photo albums of ours. And boy did I find some treasures in there, because lets face it I did not have any sense of fashion whatsoever.

I mean what did my parents even think when they dressed me in this?

Let alone that I am 4 years old at that point and sleeping in a pram?

I think the flowers are what kind of saves the outfit since my jacket is so perfectly blending in with the colour of the pram .... ahhh :D

Oh and can we take a moment to talk about this hat that must have been really fashionable back then because I can not think of any other reason that justifies why my parents put that on me. 

Yeah I definitely think that I didn't agree with my parents and the fashionability of this hat :D 

I still love my parents to bits although someone should have clearly told them that dressing your kid so it looks like an idiot is not acceptable!

However I am pretty sure that my kids will say that about me when they are older as well. I still hope not but I don't think that I will get that lucky :)

Oh and don't even get me started on this one. I look like I'm drowning in that coat :) And also a bit constipated... Yeah lets not go there haha.

Although I do love the amount of easter presents that I got back then. Why is this not happening anymore? I would gladly wear a jacket like that again... Mum? Dad?

I actually have to say that I quite like this dress although I seem very unimpressed by it in this picture. I think my parents could have done a lot worse ( and have as you can see in the previous pictures! :P)

So to finish this off:

I can only say this much:

smh

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Dancing

Heeeello?

Are you guys all good? No colds, no cough? Everyone healthy? 

Good! If not maybe my winter essentials will help?

I signed up for dancing lessons at uni today because I do believe that being able to at least waltz. Being able to dance the tango and all the other ones is just a bonus.

And signing up for that got me thinking about how I first learned to waltz.

My dad is a person who believes that you need some general knowledge and things like going to the theater or museum were always quite important to him.

And all this also involved being able to waltz for him, so back when we were quite young about 6 maybe he taught us.

Now as you can imagine mini 6 year old me was not very great at coordinating my legs :)

And this is were my dad came in again.

I remember us standing on his feet and him teaching us the steps over and over again. I think we did that for years till we were to heavy to stand on his feet. 

He would waltz around the house with us for hours and it was such good fun. It is one of my most favourtie memories of my childhood.

It all seemed so easy and carefree just standing on his feet and being walked around our living room to classical music.

Also my dad is quite tall and a real teddy bear :) I love him and am very grateful for those memories :)

When we got older eventually he taught us properly and we would still occasioanally waltz trough the house but this time on our on feet.

Did your dad do that too?

I would love to know :) Was dancing on your dad feet a thing too when you were little?

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - on Friday

Hi everyone :)

I swear I will never leave the save heaven that is my flat ever again. There was no wifi to be found anywhere in Munich. The bad world out there didn't allow me to upload a blog last night although I stayed up till 12 am to try and figure it out. Eve tried to use my phone's internet as a hotspot but that was not even fast enough to load my twitter feed much less upload a blog post. 

So here it is, a day late. 

Can you still remember your first job? The first real responsibility you took on?

Well I do. I must have been around 12/ 13 ish and my grandma had been in charge of our local community paper. 

However after my granddad died she couldn't do it on her own anymore so she 'hired' me a s a little helper.

I started of with 44 papers once a week. I remember we got 10 cents for each one so all in all I earned 4,40 € a week which is close to nothing and you can't even go to the movies with that little money but it felt so good.

To be working for my own money was great and being able to by something after a whole month of saving up was the best feeling in the world. 

So doing a paper round was my first job! Now this got me wondering: Is that just a German thing or do people all over the world do that? Is doing a paper round when your are 13 a thing?

Or is it just a German thing because I had loads of friends who did the same thing. Some did the local newspaper others did the magazine that our sports club brought out once a month and so on.

I think I did that till I was about 17 so for a total of around 5 years. At some point my grandma decided that it would be much better if she paid us at the end of each month rather then ever week.

But I know that with the first 4,40€ I bought something from Diddl which again might be a total German thing. Basically it was this mouse:

bild

And there were different items that you could collect and we all did. We were crazy for that thing. I ever had the magazine :D

Does anyone who doesn't live in Germany know what Diddl is? I would love to know because I honestly have no idea. I don't even know if it really is a German thing, even though I know the artists name. 

What was your first job? And what did you buy with the first real money you had earned? 

I think it is important that we start with these little jobs at an early age. Not only do we leaner that we can't always be living off our parents but we also get a chance to experience what money is really worth. To a point where we don't take the things we have for granted anymore. At least that is what doing a paper round and getting paid to do it did for me. I suddenly started thinking about how many weeks I had to save up till I could buy something and that set things in a whole new perspective.

I loved it for most parts, not so much when it was raining though :D

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Funfair

Hi everyone :)

I am just going to take a wild guess here and say all of you have been to a funfair at some point in their childhood. If not I truly am sorry for you and you should make good for it like right now! Go to the next funfair because I can tell you my friend: You have been missing out on something big :).

I used to go with my grandma, sister and cousin every year and as soon as I was old enough to go by myself I did that. 

I am obsessed with these things and get way to excited over them as well.

Now I have no idea how I managed to live in Augsburg for a whole year and not go to the funfair that is called 'Plärrer' that we have here. 

This week was the third time they have had it since I live here and I finally managed to go with my flatmate who had never been before either (I feel like I should address the fact that he has been living here a whole lot longer than I have hahaSo shame on both of us)

Basically this funfair is a little 'Oktober Fest' but since I don't drink alcohol I just took part in eating loads of sweet stuff and candy floss :)

I kind of regret not having one of these lollies but I got to a point were eating more sweet stuff just wasn't an option anymore, sadly :D

I was so excited to go on the Ferris wheel that by the time we got there my flatmate was annoyed enough with me to promise he would go on it with me. I literally felt like I was 10 again and he and his friend probably thought I was some crazy person but that is fine with me haha.

our view from the Ferris wheel :) The green thing was some water ride but no one wanted to go on it with me :(

At one point I felt like I was enjoying the whole thing way to much for a 21 year old but I then got told that that is just who I am and they like me like that so I was fine with it :) I was probably the reason both my flatmate and his friend had so much fun because me squealing like a child over candy floss must have been pretty entertaining. Funfairs are just so amazing I couldn't contain myself.

We also had some real food to eat and didn't just live off candy floss, chocolate fruits and sweets.

this pizza was actually really good for funfair food

I enjoyed myself very much and would really love to go back but I am going home tomorrow and I'm off to New Zealand on Monday, so no more funfair for me. But hey New Zealand is even better :)

Although packing has been a nightmare so far :D

that is the space I have left

and that is all the stuff that still has to go in there

I think I'm starting all over again after this post goes up :)

Wish me luck :)

x

J.

Throwback Thursday - Dancing

Hello everyone :)

How are you all? I hope everyone is well and has had a good week!

Today is a bit embarrassing for me since what we are going to look back on is :D We'll at least back then it was. 
I have no idea why I started and how I thought it was cool but I did belly dancing for about 2 years starting when I was 12. 

We had a quite famous belly dancer living in the village I grew up in and I thought she was so cool and I had to try it as well which lead to me and my best friend signing up for lessons.

I actually have a Dvd from one of our performances but I can not find it anywhere. I have been looking for it all over the place but I guess it most have gotten lost during the process of moving.
However I have this which is equally as good :)

For all of you that don't know what we are dressed as: 

There was a TV show called 'I dream of Jeannie' and apparently it was a good idea to dance to the theme song and dress like she did for our performance.

And I can tell you belly dancing as a totally useless skill because the only thing it does is look ridiculous. At least when I try doing it :D

What weird things did you do when you were younger? I would love to know!
And if I ever manage do find that Dvd I will not keep it from the lovely people of the internet, promise :)

x.
J

Throwback Thursday - New Zealand

Hello everyone :)

Since it is summer and I'm on my semester break I thought I would takes this Thursdays post to get me and you guys into the holiday spirit.

On 9. September I will be going back to New Zealand for about 3 weeks which I'm so so excited about. And to get me even more excited I thought I would take today to show you some of the amazing pictures I took over there and share this precious time of my live with all the people of the internet.

New Zealand is such a breathtakingly beautiful country. You can look out of the same window every day and it will never look the same and around every corner there is something new to explore.
I feel extremely lucky to have had the chance to visit this amazing country and even more so now that I will be going back.

And since I am taking all of you with me anyway why not show you where we will be going together? And give you a little sneak peek of what you will be seeing a lot more of in September.

view over Wellington when I was leaving for the Christmas Holiday

sunsets in New Zealand are the most amazing thing. I took this picture after I had been for a run, at the beach along Kapiti Coast

This is Mount Egmont or Mount Taranaki, as the Maoris call him. The Maori have a lot of legends regarding their country and I would like to share the one about this mountain with you. It shows just how much the Maori love their home and nature itself. And they do have a very personal connection to their land since in their legends all the mountains and rivers are gods.





Taranaki is a mountain that lived peacefully for many centuries in the centre of New Zealand's North Island with three other mountains, Tongariro, Ngauruhoe and Ruapehu.
Nearby stood Mount Pihanga. Covered in a cloak of deep green forest she presented a stunning sight and all the mountain gods were in love with her.
Taranaki dared to make advances to Pihanga and was reproached by Tongariro and a mighty battle ensued between them. 
The earth shook and the sky became dark as the mountains belched forth their anger. When the battle ended the lovely Pihanga stood close by Tongariro's side. Taranaki, wild with grief and jealously, angrily wrenched his roots from the ground and left the other mountains.
Weeping, he plunged towards the setting sun, gouging out a deep wide trench. When he reached the sea he turned north and stumbled up the coast. As he slept that night the Pouakai Ranges snared and trapped Taranaki in the place he now rests.
The next day a stream of clear water sprang from the side of Tongariro and the Maori believe it were his tears that filled the river. It flowed down the deep scar Taranaki had left on his journey to the coast to form the Whanganui River.
There are those who say that Taranaki is silently brooding and will one day try to return inland again to fight Tongariro, because the Maori believe that Mount Taranaki is still grieving due to his loss of Mount Pihangas love. 
They explain this believe with the clouds that always cover the top of the Mountain actually making it impossible to see it. However my mum and I were really lucky and got a little glimpse of the top but literally 2 minutes later the peak of the mountain was hidden behind clouds again.  He is called the Cloudy Mountain amongst a lot of Maori. 

I looked so different back then :) It's crazy...

This is a picture I took at Oriental Parade in Wellington which is where I used to live with my host family, well we lived near by anyway.

We also had a bit of snow while I was there and all of New Zealand freaked out. Now you have to know that most of New Zealand is about 10 m above sea level so they are not very likely to get snow there. Anyway it wasn't even snowing in the way that it is here in Germany in winter, but nevertheless they made a big deal out of it. It was actually really fun to see how they all got super excited about a bit of sleet whilst most of the German AuPairs didn't even bother to go outside :D In addition to that we even had a weather alert telling us to stay inside and maybe stock up on our supplies :)

Yeah that was me with long hair almost 2 years ago... It's crazy how fast time goes by

My mum actually took this picture during her time in New Zealand. It was taken around easter 2012 on our way to the South Island with the Inter Islander (a ferry).

And I will leave you guys with this lovely picture that an amazing friend took. He is a very talented photographer and whenever we would get bored we drove to one of the beaches and took pictures:)

Let me know if you like these kind of post and I might be back with another one of these travel related entries next week. Maybe about my trip to London that I took during my last year of school?

x

J.